Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Saying Hello and Goodbye

Knowing that I will be (hopefully) losing a 100lbs is mind boggling to me. That is a person, a whole person. Here is what I am looking forward to saying hello and goodbye to and a little sad at the same time:

Looking forward to saying GOODBYE to:

Granny panties
Pants that could house a small family
Getting bruises on the sides of my thighs from trying to sit in a beach chair
Sweating before I get out the door because I just walked down the stairs
The "swishy thigh walk" know what I am talking about. Where your thighs rub together and it hurts like heck because you now have a rash
People asking me when my baby is due!

The list is, I will cut it short by stopping there.

A little sad about saying goodbye to:

My Diet Cokes/Diet Mt. Dew
Ice Cream
Loss of a friend (aka "the fat") who was with me during extremely rough times.

That is about all I am sad about.

Looking forward to saying hello to:

Going off my medications (bp, diabetes, cholesterol..need I go on?)
Making a new friend with my new body. Treating it with respect and trying to make amends with the old body.
CLOTHES!!!! I have such a limited selection right now. It will be like Disney World.
Chasing my kids around without wanting to pass out after only 5 seconds.
Wearing a sundress (strapless) Oh the shock that I will have when I can actually wear one.
Living... living a long time, I pray.

This list could go on and, I will cut it here.

I am sure that I am going to go through a million emotions. Hang in there with me. I really am a sane gal. Sometimes :)

It’s a big day…..Aug. 24 8:28

I officially have a surgery date!! October 11th!! I am so excited! They have given me my pre-op appointments, everything. Woo....taking a bit of a breath here.

Being "officially official" has brought a whirlwind of emotions. I can't really explain it. One second it is true elation....the next second..."holy crap", the next second "How will I get everything done before then?", next second...looking ever so lovingly at my Diet Mountain Dew and realizing that I have to say good bye... for good. No more bubblies in the tummy. No more lots of things frankly. The realization that my whole world is about to get rocked is here. But, I am ok with it.

I have tried...I really have. I have tried all the herbs, prescription weightloss meds, fasting, Dr. supervised diets, literally every diet on the market. I gave it all that I had. Can I say that I have been 100% all the time? No. I would be a liar if I said that. I am not perfect. But, I have done the best that I knew how to do.

I am ready.

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