Sunday, November 4, 2007

Weight Loss Surgery is like a bad break-up

Ever been in love? I imagine everyone of us on this planet has experienced it to some degree. Ever had a break-up with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Some were bad and not so bad, right?

Well, right now in my life, I liken Weight Loss Surgery to a really bad break-up. You know the kind...where you know it was the right thing to do, but, it hurts so bad. Your friends try and console you and tell you everything is going to be alright. Your friends also tell you that if you get an urge to call him...DON'T...call us first!!!

Then, you do what you know you are not supposed to do. You call him. He is nice to you on the phone. Your heart flutters in hopes that there is a rekindled romance. He tells you that he can't talk right now, and you hear a female's voice in the background. You hang up the phone feeling stupid, mortified, and embarrassed. You want to throw up and in some cases...you do.

You don't tell your friends because they would tell you that you shouldn't have. You already know that, it is just that you couldn't resist the temptation.

The break-up is like a band-aid being ripped off and taking part of the skin with it. Some days you are looking out the window and tears cannot stop flowing because you want that part of your life back so bad. Then, there are the days that you know the right thing has happened. Your friends keep telling you that with each day, it will get better.

That is how the surgery has been for me. Granted, I am only 3 1/2 weeks out right now. But, comparing it to a bad break-up...I am right on par with the emotions that I am going through. I want so badly to have my strength back. I don't want to mourn anymore for my former self. My friends (support groups) all tell me that "this too shall pass". And just like a good friend, they tell you to call them if you feel the urge to take a bite of the forbidden aka sugar.

But, I did....just like the phone call they told you not to make. I did it anyway. I had to have a taste of that candy, and little bite of ice cream. Then, just like after making the call....I threw up for the remainder of the night and the toilet became my best friend. Feeling like an idiot for doing what I know is wrong...I crawl back to bed and a tear hits my pillow before falling asleep.

Today is a new day. It is beautiful outside and I try to put last night behind me and not dwell on it. I am trying to forgive myself. Mainly asking for forgiveness from my body who is so ticked off with me right now. I know that with every day....this will pass. I know that I must walk through the storm to get to the other side.

I am getting pretty drenched, but, I do see a rainbow up ahead.

4 comments:

Dagny said...

I'm so sorry you're having a tough time! It's different for everybody. We all go through a period when we find out what our new insides will accept and what they won't. And just getting over major surgery takes time!

Just keep doing everything your doctor tells you and better times will be ahead. Promise.

Ask anybody in this ring if anything I've ever promised didn't come true....

Dagny

Danyele said...

I hope you're feeling better - those first two months are really tough, but I promise that it does get easier. Keep posting!

Sir.Tom said...

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