Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Wearing Fat as a safety blanket

I enjoy reading some of the blogs who bash the weight loss community, or make judgments. My favorite line has always been "they should just stop eating". Oh wow...I never thought of that one:)

What a lot of people don't know is that we wear our fat as a blanket, a way to keep people away. Especially if you are a survivor of sexual abuse like I was. I was a teenager, and I went through the whole "it is my fault, why me". With a lot of therapy, I worked through that piece of it. However, instead of turning to drugs and was my unconditional lover. It never let me down. It was my place of safety. I would eat and think if I was a bigger girl, then no one would ever try to mess with me again. I would wear baggy clothes to hide who I was. So many women especially suffer from our pasts and then food becomes our present.

So, if it were as easy as putting down that extra piece of pizza...I would have. But, it was so beyond the food making me fat. I made me fat by hiding behind it and then suffered the consequences of the yo-yo dieting. I ruined my metabolism and then diabetes, high blood pressure/cholesterol entered my life like an unwanted guest.

I just wished that people didn't judge so much. It is so much more than "bon-bons"

The blanket has been hard for me to take off. I feel exposed to the world and I don't know how to handle my new body. The same fears are still there, but, talking to someone about it helps tremendously.

If you are looking into Weight Loss surgery.....please don't use it for vanity sake. It won't matter if you are a size zero if you haven't resolved your inner issues. I heard so many women in some of my support groups say that they did it to get into a dress like Beyonce. That stuff scares me to death for them. Do it for you, for your health. I don't recommend it to anyone, because I believe that each person has to do their own research and do a lot of soul searching as to why you are getting it done. What are the true motives? It sure as heck is not a quick fix. It is a lot of work. And that is if you have no complications. If you are like me, it is SOOOOOOOOOOOO much work.

Do your homework internally first......being smaller isn't going to help that fat blanket come off. You can either carry it, or drop it at the door. Those are your two options. I choose to leave it at the door.

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